Why are we seeing such increasing levels of control, coercion and abuse in dating relationships… even experienced by women in the Church?
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For those who enjoy behind-the-scenes videos, watch the unedited cut of Season 14 Episode 5:
For the full unedited transcript from this episode, click here.
In America, one out of every four women will have experienced abuse in a relationship (this is self-reported and does not include coercion and control). Many women find themselves in abusive or controlling relationships, wishing they had known what to look for to avoid the place where they are now.
For years, people (us included back in the day) mistaught authority and ideas of submission. Even if it wasn’t ill-intentioned, it did not reflect the whole counsel of God’s word and the fruit has not been Christlike.
In this conversation, our guest Sydney Millage shares tools and specific markers for women to look for in dating relationships to look for patterns of abuse, coercive control, or unsafe behaviors. This helps women identify these patterns before marriage, children, or finances make decisions to leave even more difficult.
We talk about measures for determining if someone is a normal growing sinner and simply immature in some areas or if they are actually a dangerous person. So often, Sydney points out, the measure of a man is how he responds when he is told “no."
In walking with women through these difficult conversations, it’s important to honor their agency and let them name what they are experiencing. And if a woman reaches the conclusion that she needs to leave, Sydney walks through the risk of leaving and the need for a safety plan.
In a healthy relationship, there shouldn’t be fear but rather flourishing.
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Our theme music is by As Isaac.
This podcast is made possible by producer Shane Selby, executive producer Meleah Smith, and generous donors.
Conversational Counseling is Alex Kocher and Brenda Payne.