Season 11 Ep.3 / The Immanuel Journal

Brenda (00:55.224)

Well, Alex, we're back today on episode three in the series we have titled Sacred Access. And it's all about prayer. And what we've been doing is praying that this season will be motivational through the Holy Spirit, not just through us and our words, but actually a way that the Holy Spirit can work to stir up a desire to pray. But we're also giving tools that we believe invite us to meet with God in ways that are

just deeply personal and helpful. And so today we're going to be talking about a tool called a manual journal. And it's really a unique prayer. It's one that is fairly new to me just in the last few years, but it's a unique way to speak God's voice back to your own heart. And I think it's especially helpful if you have a hard time experiencing the presence of God or hearing from God, and if you feel God is distant.

Yes. Yeah, I think that that's when I pull out this tool the most. If I feel like God is far away, you know, we talk about that feeling that our prayers are bouncing off the ceiling, or I feel like I can't connect to God in the daily struggle, then I pull out this tool because it helps me. Again, it's unique because we're going to hear God's voice, but it's really God's voice.

describing what we are going through. So I love the idea of inviting God into what we're experiencing and I think that's what this prayer actually does.

I agree and I have to say out of all the prayer tools, is the one in the beginning I was like, whoa, I don't know, is this woo woo?

Alex (02:38.072)

I know so many people that I explain this to.

But I'm hoping as we go through, we can explain exactly what we're saying and what we're not saying in this prayer. And I have found it to be incredibly, incredibly, incredibly personal, deeply personal way to experience the love of God for me and the heart of God for me. And for that reason, I love it. And like you, I really pull it out. In fact, we did the exam in prayer in our last episode, and we get to the part with consolations and desolations in that.

I actually insert the Immanuel prayer into a desolation when I have the time and when, you know, particularly if something's very painful, I will sit with it. But I think this is a beautiful prayer tool and I really have seen in my own life where it is deep in my understanding of God's heart for me and let me begin to embrace His heart for me as opposed to what I say to myself or what others say to me.

That's a great point. It is also the form of prayer that I forget about the most. don't know why. I think because it is so personal, it takes some real engagement with our own heart. You're not gonna do this prayer unless you really wanna know what's going on in yourself. And so I think I kinda tend to forget about it because we do tend to wanna live.

separate from our emotions and our experiences, and this prayer is going to take you right there. So yeah, I do tend to forget about it. then I remember it again. I'm like, I love it.

Brenda (04:09.846)

Yes, yes. And once you do it, I think you really begin to see the benefits. But let's talk a little bit about this journaling and where it came from.

So this journal comes from a book called Joyful Journey, it's co-written by Jim Wilder and a lot of his associates. And they are spiritual directors, they're therapists, psychologists, and they're all very into brain science, neuroscience. And so they came together to create this tool to help people stay relationally and emotionally connected to God, not just theologically connected. And they do draw upon

neuroscience of attachment, emotional regulation, but also on scripture, we like to talk about how this prayer is really rooted in what God says about Himself in Exodus 3.

Yeah, I think it's really built on the understanding that God is not only present with us, but that He delights to be with us. And the theme or the title of the prayer, Immanuel, really represents what this prayer is about because Immanuel means God with us. And that's the heartbeat behind the practice is for us to know that God delights and wants to be with us. He is with us. He wants to be with us.

So I do want to go back to Exodus 3 and Brenda, I honestly don't remember if Jim Wilder makes this connection. I think he does. I'm okay.

Brenda (05:33.006)

I think he does, but I'm not sure about that, but I think he might. Go ahead.

So the context, I remember reading Exodus 3 and putting this together. So Jim Wilder did it first, give him a credit. we're in the place where the Israelites are in captivity with the Egyptians. And God responds with these words, and I'm going to read them straight from Exodus 3. Then the Lord said, I have surely seen the afflictions of my people who are in Egypt. I have heard their cry because of their taskmasters.

I know their sufferings and I have come down to deliver them out of the hand of the Egyptians and to bring them out of that land to a good and broad land, a land flowing with milk and honey." And those are the elements of the Immanuel prayer. I have seen the afflictions. I have heard their cry. I know their suffering. I have come to deliver them. So those are the prompts, so to speak, of this prayer.

Yeah, and we'll talk more about as we walk through what those prompts look like. I think what we just really want to remember is that this is not a distant God. This is a God who hears and sees and acts on behalf of His people. And the same God who did that for the Israelites is the same God who will do that for us as well, that He wants to come to us in our suffering, He wants to come to us in our sin.

Yeah, I think it makes God, like we said, not abstract or remote, but very personal. And it allows our communication with Him to be us revealing our hearts to Him and recognizing that He does hear and understand us and that He's not powerless. We are often powerless in these struggles that we're voicing to Him. He is not powerless in our struggle. He can do something about what we're going through. And I think

Alex (07:23.668)

What's healing about this prayer is remembering those truths, rehearsing those truths in a way that feels very specific to our own situation. So the first thing that people say that they're uncomfortable with in this Immanuel journaling is that you're writing in the voice of God.

people feel like they're speaking for God. But I think as we unpack these prompts, you're gonna realize that you're not pretending to be God. You're actually using God's voice to name your own experiences. So you're allowing God to tell you that he sees you and what he sees, but what he sees is what you're experiencing. And so that sounds a little weird. So you're actually listening to how he might respond to you based on what he sees, what he hears.

And then the last two prompts, you're drawing on scripture because you're seeing how God comes into that struggle with you and how he can affect that struggle for you. And there you're drawing on what you know about the promises of God and the character of God. So the first two prompts are really focused on your experience of the struggle and the second two, you're reflecting on what you know about his character and promises.

So good. All right, well, let's get into it and see if we can help folks understand how to walk through this and put some meat on the bones that we've just discussed. So when I do it, I just always recommend beginning with a little bit of silence and beginning with some breath work. Again, just entering into the presence of God, just that idea of access, thanking Jesus for access, wanting to have God put a little bit of all in my heart that now I'm about to meet with God.

and I'm going to talk with him and he's going to speak to me. So the five journaling prompts, again, I want to reiterate what you said, because I think when I first started, it was my fear that, am I talking for God? Like, this felt really weird. But basically, you're talking to yourself from God's perspective. You're not putting words in his mouth, but to remind your heart about his closeness and what he says. And I do want to stress again, I think that

Brenda (09:41.816)

this prayer, like all the prayers, are really built around what you know to be true about God, and that comes from your time in the Scriptures, right? And then knowing the heart of God, not just the laws of God, but the heart of God as you enter into the particular story that you'll write about. So let's look at the prompts. There are five of them. I'll just read them. I can see you. I can hear you. I understand how hard this is for you. I can do something about this. And that's it.

It was fine, wasn't it? Okay. So yeah, let's walk through each one of them, Alex.

So, I Can See You is you writing what would be observable, knowing that God can see us at all times. And so, you're using God's voice to say back to you what he sees about maybe your body movements, your sensations, your expressions, responses that you've had that anyone could see with or notice if they spent time with you. And we want to make sure that when we're giving God's voice,

to that we're having a voice of compassion and not condemnation. So it might sound something like, I see you curled up on the sofa trying to hold it together. I see tears in your eyes. I see your shoulders are sinking with weariness. Or I see the sadness in your face. I see you trying to interact with people when you feel like you're going to cry. So it's an intimate knowledge of what's happening. you're, again,

I think people can now hear you're describing your own experience. You're just using God's voice of compassion as you do.

Brenda (11:17.902)

Well, it's interesting, even as you're reading that, I felt something in my heart, right? There's just something that makes me realize how close God is when He can describe. Like, if He were sitting next to me, this is what He would be telling me, because this is true about what's happening right now. Right. You know, and that's just so precious. So, the second part of the journal is the prompt, can hear you. So, we're going to write what God might say He hears in your words, your actions, or even in your silence.

So some examples would be, hear you telling yourself to push through again. I hear you trying to smile while your heart is aching. Or I hear your heart racing. I heard the words of despair and hatred against yourself that you spoke into your heart. I hear the fear in your voice as you try to communicate with your spouse. I heard the conversation with your spouse. I heard what he said back to you. And you can get as specific or as general as you have time and have need to.

And then we're going to move into, I understand how hard this is. This is where you are imagining God naming the weight or the impact of what you're carrying, knowing that he sees that as significant. He's not separate from it. And we're putting into words our impression of the way that God really understands our hearts. So I know this feels like you're losing another piece of your dream. This matters so much to you and it feels like everything is crumbling.

Or, I know this is scary and you feel like you can't get my attention. This is as big as your parents getting divorced. So, showing like God's knowledge, not just of what's happening in the moment, but of things in the past that have happened to you.

That's so good, right? That God is seeing it all. He sees the past hurts and he sees the future dreams and the current desires that are being crushed. The fourth prompt is, am glad to be with you. And, you know, as I think about this one, I meet with a lot of Christians who don't believe God is glad to be with them because there is so much shame, there is so much condemnation, there is so much guilt.

Brenda (13:26.25)

When we take this prompt, we actually write out God's affection for us and his desire for companionship with us. You know, it's not a reward for getting it together, like I have to get it all right before I come before you, Lord. It is just because he loves us. And this is where we're really going to write that confirmation of God's love for us. We're going to remind ourselves of the promises of God. And like you said, now we're moving toward

you know, actually looking at the heart, the character, and the promises of God speaking back to us. So just some simple examples. You could use scripture, and I tell people if they use straight scripture, because it does get uncomfortable for some people at this point, you can use straight scripture, but insert your name. Make that scripture super, super personal. But some simple examples would just be, I'm glad to be with you. I want to be with you even when you feel angry and afraid. Or I love you right here.

not after you clean this up, I'm glad to sit with you in this place." Again, I can just feel my heart warming and saying those words. I just feel like just such a difference inside of me when I will stop even now and read those. Like, this is true of the God of the universe. This puts me in a position of awe again, that this God I'm coming and I'm showing in my heart and I'm showing in my yuck and I'm showing in my struggle. And he's like, I just...

love you. I don't know about you, Brenda, but I probably spend, I would say almost 50 % of my time helping people re-narrate the words of condemnation and contempt that they have in their heads, which are lies from the enemy. And so I actually think that this prompt is really, really important because it takes that and makes us agree with God.

And I want to be right here with you.

Brenda (15:18.166)

Yes, yes.

Which is confession, right? Agreeing with God. So we have to agree with God even in the way that we talk about ourselves. It's very uncomfortable to do. And I think if it is uncomfortable, it's telling us something really important that we're more comfortable believing the contemptuous, shameful lies than we are the truth about what God says. I also want to say that I don't think I've ever heard somebody share an Emmanuel journal and get to this point and not be weeping with them. Like, yeah, it's very,

That's what I'm saying, even reading those words just makes my heart melt. And it just wants like the tears, like the emotions are getting stirred just by reading, just by reading this.

Yeah, so it does touch, I think you were right earlier when you said it's one of the most intimate tools that we have. There's a real intimacy here and making ourselves put these things into words.

Yeah, which means there's a real vulnerability, which if you've come out of trauma and abuse or particularly those things, I really love using this journal for people who have backgrounds with trauma or abuse because there is so much shame and so much self-deprecation and the view of themselves has been so distorted. And I think this is just such a beautiful and personal way for them to connect with the Lord.

Alex (16:36.814)

And then the last prompt is, can do something about this. And this is just a reminder of God's ability to help us, to comfort us, to guide us, to fight for us. So we would write what God might be saying about how He'll be with us or how He's going to intercede or advocate for us. So it might sound like, I am working even when you don't see it. My spirit is with you and I'm sending people to care for you in this.

or my spirit will hold you, we are praying for you, we are interceding for you and protecting you. So again, you can use straight promises from scripture. I have people go back to, I will never leave you or forsake you. You can go, or you can summarize and combine promises and put them in your own words. But this is really tapping into what God says about Himself and His ability to act on our behalf.

And I think at this point it's so encouraging because a lot of times we miss what God is doing. But when God starts saying, I'm sending people to care for you this morning. In fact, I sent Alex. She picked up the phone when you called and I gave her the words to encourage you and she was present for you. And so again, you can be as general or specific as you want to be. But I think when we get to this point, actually, the tears can start turning to joy.

because either I'm beginning to see what God is doing or I'm anticipating what he's going to do. So I think this part of the prayer infuses a lot of hope where there's probably been a lot of sadness and despair. Okay, well, is there anything else you would add to what we've said? I feel like that was kind of short and sweet, but I think that's really all I can think of. At this point in our series, we are asking real women that we know

to share real prayers that they've written. And then this prayer that you're gonna hear today is from a young woman going through a significant struggle, which I think all of these prayers that we're gonna have are from women who have faced significant struggles. But the thing I love about this prayer is she's going to share the first time she writes in a manual journal prayer. And it's so cute because when I read it, I chuckled.

Brenda (18:50.734)

I was crying, I was laughing. Like, you could just see this sweet interaction between her and the Lord. And she would also tell you that she really, she's very visual. And she said, I really have a hard time, a lot of times, imagining the Lord being so close and experiencing Him kind of in reality, because He's not like, I'm like, Jesus, I just need you to sit right in front of me. I need to see you. And so I think this has been a way that she's been able to...

maybe put a little bit more flesh on Jesus doing this kind of prayer. But the prayer is precious. think everybody who hears it will be blessed by it. And then just to realize, she's not going to write it, and you can, like I do this sometimes, I use the prompts and I write under each prompt. Hers is going to be more free flowing. It's going to be like, you're going to see her talk about God seeing her and then, you know, maybe like how God's helping her and then maybe how God's hearing her. And she's going to kind of weave these things in and out. So I think that's...

instructive as well. And I think when we talk about this idea of structure and unstructured, if you get the structure in your mind, then you can begin at any time to have these conversations with Jesus and really experience this really intimate aspect of God being with you and Him speaking to you anytime, any day, anywhere.

I think that's a great point because I think after doing this several times and writing it out, because I always think there is something to writing it out to bring things out that we may not have access to until we make ourselves write it down. But after doing that, I would find myself going through my day and being like,

Lord, did you hear that? know, did you see when I just did that? You know, like it was, yeah, it became a little bit more, it was like. So you're reminding yourself through this form of prayer and then it does become a little bit more spontaneous sometimes. And so, yeah, I, again, I just want to reiterate that this, this is a really intimate form of prayer and I have given it to people who have struggled because it is. And

Brenda (20:35.21)

see it. You did hear it.

Alex (20:55.0)

they've had to put it aside and come back to it when they were able to kind of do little parts of it or digest it as they wrestled through some of the lies. Like it's interesting what it brings up and sometimes we have to work with that before we can actually use the form of prayer. But I think it's, the manual prayer is just such a sweet way to remember that we're not alone, that God is with us, that He enjoys us.

that he hears, he sees, and he can do something about what we're struggling with. And so I hope that people will try it.

Mm-hmm. Yep. Okay, well, I'm excited about this. It actually makes me want to get back into this because like all these prayer tools, I kind of rotate through them different days, different ways. I will say one other thing about this prayer is it works so well if you're stuck in a sin struggle or if you're in a suffering struggle. And I really love that because I think on either side of those, it's very specific and can really walk you through an end that is very beautiful. So,

That's today's. We've done the examined prayer. We've now done the Emmanuel prayer. And the next time we'll explore another prayer type that will help us enter into this sacred space that we call prayer.

My dearest daughter, I want you to know that I see you. I am glad to be with you and you know I've been here all along. I know you felt my presence so strongly the first day you got saved and I know we were we both remember it like it was yesterday. You've been thinking about that often lately and that makes me smile. I'm so grateful for the seasons in your life that you've been on fire for me and of course I agree with you that you want to make this one last.

Prayer (22:43.094)

and combat any double-mindedness that you've become so comfortable with since your early 20s. I have been praying for you and interceding for you without fail and constantly your whole life. I'm so glad you have become more aware of my presence and have been diligently seeking me. I promise you when you seek me with your whole heart, you will surely find me.

I hope I can keep your attention this time because the world is so loud and your distractions are so many these days with a little one. I created you and your son both so intricately in my image and I knew you would be the perfect mother for him. It's been really sweet watching you learn my love for you through your relationship with that little boy. I hope you continue to learn how to come to me as a son or daughter does and not like a servant.

You are mine and you have my inheritance and it pleases me to give you every good thing. It breaks my heart to see what you are going through with your husband. He is my dear child too and I love him so much. I'm trying to get through to him and I know you keep praying for his heart of stone to become a heart of flesh. My plan is to give him a new heart and a new mind but he has to surrender and want this for me alone, not to save his relationship with you.

or his family. I see how you still carry condemnation and have accepted going through these hardships as a result of sin and some poor choices in your life. I want to remind you that I am not the one who is constantly accusing you. I have removed your sin and I see your repentant heart in life. Please stop picking it back up. It is not for you to carry. My blood was enough, so please don't be in your own thoughts and guilt.

and think that my sacrifice seems void to you. The enemy is speaking lies and causing confusion, and I'm asking you to listen to my voice, not his and especially not your own. No offense, but you are not the way, the truth or the life. And on your own, you have a default of mixed information and some double mindedness at times. I will remove the worldliness from you, but this takes time and it takes your dedication to my word.

Prayer (25:06.508)

my voice and my counsel. My spirit has been holding you and interceding for you all along. I am sending you all sorts of signs and encouragement in my word from Godly counsel and loved ones that it is okay to move on. What happened in your marriage was covenant breaking and more than anything broke my heart. I see how you've been hurting since his betrayals towards you started early in your marriage.

I am healing your husband too, but you do not have to heal together. Divorce is never my plan and never brings me joy, but I want you to live in peace. Let me cherish you. Let me love you as a husband should and bring joy and stability into you and your son's life. Trust me to put your life back together and try to keep from making any plans of your own.

I know you're thinking you're being a responsible mom sometimes by trying to do what is best for you and your son. But in some ways it can have the heart of trying to chart your own path. And I really don't want you to take the reins again. I see all things and I know all hearts Courtney, and I will provide and reveal what's to come one step at a time. No need for planning, scheming and trying to make your most ideal course. I know the desires of your heart.

and let me perfect your life and faith with me. I love you so much and it brings me such joy to see you and your son together. I crafted him so specially with you in mind and I hear your prayers for the special bond with him for your whole life. I also hope he comes to know and love me early on in life like you did. So thank you for praying for that. I hear that. Never stop praying for him and your family.

Your prayers and even this journal are like rising incense to me. I love you more than you can imagine. Keep seeking me in the secret place because I promise you when you seek me, especially with your whole heart, it is my greatest joy to be found by you. Love, Jesus.